Thursday, March 04, 2010

Sufferers are not sinners, People who Enjoys are not saints. ?

It was one beautiful spring morning in an interior city in Yonderland. The sun spread its golden rays, the birds chirped, flowers blossomed and the tender morning air blew refreshingly to announce the arrival of yet another awesome day.

But it is was nothing new or charming to Peter, who felt nothing refreshing about the new day. It was just another day that he was going to spend in his bed at hospital, like the many other ordinary days since the last 5 years after the accident. His world was nothing more than a room, a bed, a window and a wheel chair.

As he sat on his bed and looked through the window, he was happy to see the green lush lawn with colorful flowers, the birds fluttering the wings and the people moving around the walkways. "Happy and lucky people", he thought and took a nostalgic remembrance of his good days he used to run and walk around the world. It was very pleasant to remember and this sort of daydreaming of the past was his usual happy pass time. But everything suddenly turned dull and sad as a person in a white dress touched him. "Oh! Itbs is the same old nurse with the horrible bitter early morning medicines", he sighed. After swallowing it with much of hate and sorrow, entered his physiotherapist to conduct the morning physical drill. Though Peter did not like the routine, he still participated with much enthusiasm since he knew that it was the only the ray of hope to get back on his feet.

After the tiresome routine of one hour, Peter lied down on his bed and closed his eyes. He was half asleep and half exhausted. He began to ponder over his situation. A million clusters of thoughts struck his mind at once as he closed his eyes and began to ponder. And as usual, the striking lines that kept coming to his mind were, "Why me? Why not someone else? Am I the only one eligible to take this? Is this a result of my sins? What huge sins have I committed to suffer this pain of body and mind?"

The questions replayed again and again on his mind without an answer and after a while the questions stopped playing and there a long pause of silence in his mind. Peter, in an effort to find an answer to his questions began to reflect back on his life. He started remembering every event from the present day and traversed all the way to his infancy as much as he could remember. He listed a list of things in his life that may be considered as a sin or an action that required a punishment. Well, his list was quite long. Peter took a deep sigh and said, Oh! Maybe my present situation is a cumulative result and effect of my sins and actions." And as a few tears of repentance trickled down his face, he began to think about his friends, and began to analyze the lives of the best of his friends. He tried to prepare the same list for them, taking a walk down memory lane. He knew his closer friends very well, that he did not have one bit of difficulty to prepare the list. To his surprise the list seemed even more sinful than his for the many of his friends. "How could they all be happy? Why is that they do not suffer for their sins like me? Am I subjected to a biased judgment? Is my suffering not a result of my past actions?" he wondered.

His mind went blank for sometime, there was a long pause, but there was a pleasant feeling of warmth in his heart. It was such a sweet feeling that came suddenly to him after such a long time, that he did not want to let go of it. A feeling of peace, a feeling of hope, a feeling of strength-it was a mixture of all these. Peter felt so lucky and privileged to have such a lovely feeling after 5 long years.

Slowly the peaceful mind of Peter began to shift the focus and he began to feel all the natural calamites, the accidents, the deaths and the sufferings of world that he saw everyday. He remembered a recent earthquake in with thousands died, "The good, the bad, the rich, and the poor all alike have died." He said to himself. He thought about a fire accident in which the whole theatre full of people was burnt to ashes. Similarly he thought about fatal accidents and other calamities."Would it be wise to say that all these people were punished for their past actions? Surely there must have been good people in these clusters, why did they too end up with a truncated fate?b he wondered.

He pondered and wondered, there was no answer except a silence, but Peter kept on thinking and grinding in mind for an answer. Suddenly from nowhere an incident that happened in his college days came to his mind. It was a day when a medical oriented documentary film on abortion to abolish the practice of abortion was shown. A camera was placed in the mother's womb to record the reaction of the child as the procedure was being done. As the cutting tool entered the womb, the disturbed child swam alarmed like a fish to escape it. But all its effort went in vain. And within minutes the foetus got chopped into pieces and was flushed out. Though the process was for around 15 minutes, still it was a gruesome murder and the most painful one to suffer. Peter wondered, "What sin has this innocent foetus has done to deserve such a painful death? Is suffering is a result of our actions? What action has this child which did not even enter the world did to deserve such a suffering?

Again there was no answer but a long silence. Only the long pause extended but Peter could never get an answer. "Aaahb&Ouch!" The grimaced Peter sounded in pain as felt a sudden deep prick on his buttocks. Well, nothing to worry about, it was just the mid-afternoon injection that his nurse, his Florence Nightingale (hahaha) administered on him.

There is no real answer to the movement of the earth-sun and the planets, the battering the sea waves, the flow of the river, the rains, the thunder, the snow, etc.. etc...But all these things happen and happen for a reason. And the reason is beyond is beyond our imagination and wits. So come what may, let us live the life as it comes. For we have no other choice. If we can change it is. Let us try it, if not let us enjoy the journey. The journey could be smooth, it could be rough and scary, so let us experience it. Because life is just an experience and is meant to be enjoyed all along. Let us look forward to the next day with eagerness for the surprises that are in store for us.

Psalm 6: 2-3
"I am worn out, O lord, have pity on me!
Give me strength: I am completely exhausted
and my whole being is deeply troubled,
How long, O Lord, will you wait to help me."

Psalm 6: 6
"I am worn out with grief;
Every night my bed is damp from my weeping;
my pillow is soaked with tears."
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